The thoughts that go through my mind everytime I see her would make her take a shower for days. I know we aren't good for each other. We are great for each other. She holds me up when I'm about to fall. I hold her close when she needs it most. I want her in bed next to me. I've had her in bed next to me. She refuses to lay in bed next to me until I get well. I know physically she wants me. I know menatlly she wants me. I know that she steps back to admire what I am becoming, but is worried that I will take steps back to admire someone else.
I do. I can't stop admiring. Yet, it's not someone else. It's everyone, including her. My wandering eye is who I am. My therapist hasn't commented on it. I don't know why. I think she might think it's intrinsic. Both of them. I can't hide it. I can't skirt around it. Is it something that is wrong? Is it something that is right?
You found your muse.
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