Snow shoeing through rugged Appalachian terrain is no place to suddenly find yourself. Snow comes down sideways, snow comes down in sheets, but this snow was gentle, and forgiving. My camera was a mess and I was wondering why I had brought it along. Yet, I knew that the pictures I was about to capture were going to be the best. Not the best in the world. Just the best in my world. That was enough for me.
"Turn around, turn around, turn around", the voice in my head repeated in succession.
"No, fuck you. I know where I'm going, and this time you won't stop me", I actually yelled this out loud. No one could hear me. I was miles away from camp at this point. Plus, anyone that knew me was well aware of my mental state.
"Turn around, turn around, turn around!", this time a bit louder. I ignored it. I felt my legs becoming more defiant. My body was getting so used to the cold the huge jacket and snow pants I was wearing felt like a hindrance. The altitude is stunning to the lungs. The fact that I had given up smoking was helping the climb. No one knew where I had gone. I woke up before everyone in the cabin, and this fact worried me about as much as a fly I had swatted days earlier. My mission was simple, and it was going to be fulfilled. "Turn around, turn around, turn around", this time the request felt like it was right behind me.
"Asshole. This is where I give you the finger", as I pointed my glove into the air, and extended my "fuck off" digit. No matter how comfortable you are in the snow, falling is never graceful. That's exactly what I did, with my middle finger splayed out into the morning air. Slowly, rising from knee to knee, the wind grabbing my face, and wrenching it up from staring at the soft, white snow.
"I told you to turn around", it said to me. I say it because it wasn't what it was. Does that make sense? It was huge. The wind was rustling its hair, and its eyes could not have been staring deeper into mine. It was a wolf. Period. There was no mistaking it. "If I had thumbs, I'd help you onto your feet. I hate seeing humans looking as helpless as you look right now." The sound of the English language coming out of its mouth shot me back onto my ass.
"I...I.....I......I......", luckily stammering has always been my forte.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm a wolf, and I can talk. I know", he stated, about as matter of fact as anything has been stated to me before.
"What the fuck?", I literally screamed.
"First, you didn't know we talked because you never stopped to listen. Second, I need you to shut up, and stop being shocked. I don't have long."
"Ummmmmmmmm...."
"Good, I can see we understand each other", I'm starting to realize the sarcastic ability of wolves. "I know where you're going. It's futile. It's pedantic. There is no need. You need to turn around, walk back to the cabin, and relax. You are one of us, but that doesn't mean hunting everything in sight. We have learned a great deal from being on the edge of extinction. If you hunt everything you can hunt, you will inevitably come across the things, that can hunt you. If you eat everything you can eat, inevitably the things you want to eat will disappear. If you wander, everywhere you can wander, inevitably you will run out of places to wander. Walk back, take off that silly artificial coat, and relax. All this will come to you in time. You will go to it in time. Stop running, start walking, and enjoy the fireplace. While you can. Remember, the greatest advantage us wolves have..", it stepped up and pressed its paw against my chest. Signaling that I was included. "The greatest advantage WE have is camouflage. Understand?"
"Yes......I...um....understand", I seemed to be able to slip the words out of my lips.
"Oh, lastly, stop doing it all alone. We roam in packs for a reason. It's OK to go off by yourself, but you need us, and we need you. Now shake my paw so I can run away, dramatically." The wolf stuck out its limb. I took its paw. We shook hands? It was done. That quick. In a blink of my snow covered eyes, the wolf had run into a small patch of trees, and I was done. A lesson had been learned. I mean, let's be honest, it's a fucking talking wolf. Was I supposed to ignore it defiantly? Fuck no.
